The Guilty Party

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Investment Opportunity of a Lifetime!

A few years ago I squandered several hundred dollars in order to bring my novel out into the light of day. I had spent a decade or so--on and off, but still, a lot of time--in creating it, a couple of years and lots of paper and postage in attracting an agent who would shop it to the big publishers, and another couple of years getting nice emails from my agent with the latest "We loved it but have no idea what to do with it" rejections from those big publishers. Confident that all it needed was a cover, a photo of Your Truly and a spot on, I did the self-publishing thing through iUniverse and in the course of the next few years came within almost several hundred dollars of recouping my investment. In other words ROI was nothing to brag about to the accounting department (wife) or shareholders (rest of family).

Then, a bit over a year ago came an opportunity with a nice UK writers' site I have frequented to have Do-Overs. And Do-Overs without several hundred dollars involved. So I gave the book a polish, changed a few things that seemed to need changing, including the title (Boomerang), and so far the ROI is on the positive side. Cool.

But I have recently been approached by iUniverse with a marketing idea that is what only can be called Sure Fire and I Want To Share It With You!

Here is the entire copy of the correspondence I received from Sheryll Gomez, Marketing Guru and Millionaire Creater Extraordinaire at iUniverse:

Does your book have Hollywood potential? 

You worked hard on your manuscript and took the necessary steps to have it published. Now, you can see your work come to life in a live-action Hollywood Book Trailer.  With professional actors and Hollywood producers, your video will be a high-quality piece that you will be proud to show off.

In addition, We  will submit your work to a professional agent who will review your Hollywood Book Trailer and decide whether to represent it to movie production studios and other entertainment companies.  The agent has been responsible for selling such books to film to studios such as NBC Universal , Time Warner, Lionsgate, Sony and many many more.”

With a Hollywood Book Trailer, you get:

  • 60 to 90 second custom-made, live-action Hollywood Book Trailer
  • A review by a professional film agent
  • Placement of your book trailer on multiple well-known sites, including YouTube, Metacafe, DailyMotion, and your book details page in the Xlibris webpage
  • A single targeted e-mail campaign with a link to your Hollywood Book Trailer distributed to 1,000,000 potential customers
  • A press release with a link to your Hollywood Book Trailer
  • A social media marketing set-up of sites like Facebook, WordPress, MySpace, Flickr, to name a few, where your Hollywood Book Trailer will either be embedded or provided a link to
  • Web streaming capability and high-quality video downloads

Hollywood Book Trailers make a compelling addition to your press releases, social media sites, and personal web sites.  You will own all the rights to your Hollywood Book Trailer and will be provided with the final video file to share with readers, friends, and family and include in your marketing materials.  In the competitive marketplace, a Hollywood Book Trailer will catch buyers’ attention and make your book stand out in the crowd!

*Hollywood Book Trailers work best for promoting mystery, action, suspense and drama pieces.  Science fiction, historical novels, poetry, cookbooks and children’s books may not work as well.  Please consult with your Marketing Consultant to determine if a Hollywood Book Trailer is right for your work.

The value for the Hollywood Book Trailer is $19,999 but I can give it for you for only $16,999.15 so you save up to $2,999.85. Great savings right. This promotion is only up until December 30, 2009. A great way to end the year by getting this Hollywood Book Trailer.

This service is available in payment installment options using credit or debit card with a one-time $30 processing fee paid in a 30-day increment.

If you have further questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me by phone or by e-mail.  

Best regards,

Sheryll Gomez
Marketing Consultant
iUniverse, Inc.

So, for those of you who have the foresight to see the enormous profit potential of such an endeavor, here is your opportunity to become a part of a World Wide Phenomenon. Yes, you can proudly tell your friends and associates that you are a Producer of the Book Trailer for Close Enough for Government Work (aka Boomerang), with a minimal investment of just four thousand dollars. Once we have the right number of investors in place production will commence, including a musical production number that has come to me in a vision and is sure to make this Sure Fire Idea into Something Even Better. Picture, if you will, the classic spectacle that is "Springtime for Hitler", but with J.Edgar Hoover leading the ensemble. Bethie can be the head chorus girl. The world will flock. Yes, it will flock. It won't be able to help itself from flocking!

And you will become rich! Fabulously rich! Insanely rich! Obscenely rich! Ooh, how cool will that be?

So don't delay, send your check immediately. This opportunity won't last long! Once we've reached our limit of twenty investors, the door to this Pathway to Wealth and Power will be closed!

One other idea that springs to mind is a more modest investment of about ten dollars for the paperback of Boomerang or just a couple of bucks for the ebook edition

Whether you pick the path to sure riches (four thousand) or sure entertainment (ten or two), be assured you are making one author very happy indeed!

1 comment:

Lexi said...

I suppose it might benefit the odd out-of-work actor...though iUniverse's reluctance to tackle anything historical or sci-fi demonstrates where they envisage most of the cash going.

Much more fun and considerably cheaper would be to Do It Right Here In The Barn!

I know you can act, Alan, and you have the accounting department and the shareholders to co-opt for the lesser roles. I just wish the Atlantic wasn't between us, or I'd help with the sets and costumes.

I see no flaw in this plan.

A Bit About Me

My photo
I am a writer with a longtime interest in photography. I'm a dad, husband, photographer, and not very good guitarist. My first novel, Boomerang, is available in both paperback and ebook form at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and As a matter of fact, my second novel, The Baer Boys, can be found at exactly the same places.