The Guilty Party

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


There are three officially recognized surefire methods to turning around the most miserable of days.

1: The sudden acquisition of lots of money. There are side effects, but the wise person can deal with them.

2: Being sought out by the most deeply felt unrequited love of your youth because he/she simply must tell you how much he/she now regrets having been so dense as not to recognize back then what potential you had as a person of intellectual depth, physical attractiveness and erotically charged spiritual complexity.

3. Skipping.

Of these three I recommend the last. The others rely much too much on chance or the whims of others. It is given extra points due to its great likelihood of causing jealousy (often masked as disapproval, but they're not fooling anybody) in your peers and embarrassment in your children, unless they have been brought up to such a thing and understand.

Yes, I would definitely say skipping is the way to go. A day that includes skipping has it all over a non-skipping sort of day.

My daughter and I skipped over to the big "Love" sculpture to have our picture taken. She's a really good skipper. One of these days she may rival her dad.

Go Ye Forth and Do Likewise.


Timber Beast said...

I don't recommend #2. I lost my first wife that way.

plumboz said...

Oh, good lord. I had no idea. All that was going through my head whilst writing that was a reaction along the lines of "Well, that does perk up a fellow's day. Thanks so much, and have a lovely life!"

Lexi said...

Re #2; because you are a nice man, Alan, you haven't got the second part of that fantasy - the bit where one gets one's own back by rejecting the unrequited love of one's youth, in no uncertain terms.

*evil cackle*

plumboz said...

Nah, that wouldn't be any fun. No profit that I can see.

Lexi said...

You see? Just too nice...

A Bit About Me

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I am a writer with a longtime interest in photography. I'm a dad, husband, photographer, and not very good guitarist. My first novel, Boomerang, is available in both paperback and ebook form at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and As a matter of fact, my second novel, The Baer Boys, can be found at exactly the same places.